Oops! Did I Just Create a Parallel Universe?

Disclaimer: The following content is based on entirely unproven theories and questionable logic! Read on at your own risk.

As many of you know (and by that, I mostly mean the voices in my head), I have a habit of pondering existential questions when I’m not designing or hanging upside down. So where does this tendency come from? Probably from spending part of my teenage years reading about Existentialism, understanding none of it, yet somehow still managing to send my anxiety into overdrive. Jean-Paul Sartre, if you’re tuning in from the afterlife, just know that I loathe you deeply and hold a special kind of grudge against you.

So when my brain isn’t overstimulated (or maybe when it’s too overstimulated?), these questions hit me, and bam! Instant blog material. And here’s one for yah:

Did you know that aside from the ever-changing version of yourself that you’re aware of, there are probably dozens of other versions of you living in other people’s minds? Yup! If you ever told a white lie and claimed you went to MIT, somewhere out there, a version of you is busy revolutionizing AI or pretending to understand Elon Musk’s latest rambling about the future of humanity.

That’s right! These versions take on a life of their own, like little NPCs running around in other people’s brains. But have you ever stopped to wonder if they could exist in a way we don’t yet understand? If there’s any truth to simulation theory, what’s stopping these mental versions of people from having some form of existence? After all, our brains are powerful enough to construct entire worlds in dreams, so who’s to say they’re not doing something just as weird when we’re awake?

Humor me for a second: what if every time you agonized over a decision, replaying every possible outcome in your head, you were actually creating a reality where each one played out? Some interpretations of quantum mechanics suggest that could be the case… So basically, all that overthinking you did? Congratulations, you may have just booted up a parallel universe. It’s like quantum superposition or the way quantum computers juggle multiple possibilities at once, except instead of processing data, you’re just lying in bed at 3 AM wondering if you should’ve ordered fries instead of a salad (a daily dilemma in my own personal multiverse).

So, if every decision really does create a new universe, then somewhere out there, a bunch of alternate versions of me exist. Some thriving, some living their best lives, some barely hanging on, and some probably dealing with interdimensional nonsense. Let’s explore our top contenders below:

1. The One Who Moved to Japan Runs a tiny matcha café in Kyoto, spends mornings meditating in a garden, and is still trying to learn kanji without crying.
   

2. The Cyberpunk Rebel Operates in a neon-lit underworld, hacking into corporate mainframes and dodging bounty hunters. Runs on caffeine, bad decisions, and a questionable moral compass.
   

3. The Absolute Minimalist Owns three shirts, lives out of a backpack, and somehow doesn’t get attached to sentimental junk. I admire them from a distance.
   

4. The Mother of All Rubber Cluckers Owns an empire of collectible rubber ducks. Has mastered the art of turning bath-time toys into high-end investments. Currently negotiating with a major toy manufacturer to launch a limited edition line of who-knows-what rubber ducks.
   

5. The Glitch in the System Not supposed to exist; sort of like the forgotten middle child of the universe. Somehow became self-aware in a simulated reality and is currently trying to escape. Also known as Keanu Reeves, to some.
   

But, of course, these alternate versions of me are just the tip of the iceberg. I like to think that somewhere there’s a version of me who made all the right choices; probably rich, super successful, and pressing into a handstand like it’s no big deal. But hey, a girl can dream.

What’s interesting, though, is that we’re never truly aware of how our decisions unfold across realities. We live in this one universe where the only thing we can control is the next moment, the next decision. We can wonder about other versions of ourselves or get lost in the possibilities, but in the end, the only reality we truly experience is the one we’re living right now.

And if all of this doesn’t make your brain hurt, then you’re probably one of those alternate versions of someone who’s got it all together. Send tips! Or better yet, drop your own favorite alternate versions of yourself! Over and out.